A Mzungu who loves Kenya

• Being Poor

  Posted: May 30, 2008, 3:57 pm by Dad Mzungu

  While I was browsing entries from fellow bloggers, I came across a very humbling entry, which I have reproduced below.

  However, I have made a few changes, in italics:

  Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

  Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

  Being poor is not having a TV, or electricity, or running water.

  Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not a $800 car in the USA that's worth a damn.

  Being poor is walking everywhere because you cannot afford a car or even a matatu fare.

  Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

  Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.

  Being poor is your kid not going to friends’ houses because they can’t afford to feed him/her, any more than you can afford to feed their friends.

  Being poor is living next to the freeway.

  Being poor is not living anywhere near a metalled road.

  Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.

  What car? What is Raisin Bran?

  Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.

  Being poor is not having a well-off sibling!

  Being poor is off-brand toys.

  Being poor is your kids making their own toys our of bits of scrap.

  Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.

  Being poor is not having a heater – and only one room.

  Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.

  Being poor is Goodwill underwear.

  Being poor is no underwear.

  Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.

• A Rare Moment

  Posted: May 30, 2008, 3:23 pm by Dad Mzungu

  I have just entered my blog onto the Kenyan Blog ring, and as I have little to do for a while (a rare moment), I decided to look at what others are writing.

  Immersed in the thoughts of other bloggers, the dog dragged me back to reality with incessant barking.

  Now, the dog is Mum's pet, companion and confidant. It is a rather overfed Norfolk Terrier, short, ginger, hairy, noisy.

  I found him standing at the back door, looking through the glass at something and growling. So I let him out, whereupon he raced up the patio to a leaf, barked at it, sniffed it, and strutted back to the door, tail in air, looking very pleased with himself.

  I wonder what he would do if there were a real intruder in the garden?

• Twiddling Thumbs

  Posted: May 29, 2008, 2:59 pm by Dad Mzungu

  I have made the offer on the cyber café business, which has been accepted. I have sent the money to my man in Kisii. I have sent him an email with lots of instructions. What else can I do?

  Now, I just have to sit here and wait for the news that all my instructions have been followed, the money has been paid to the seller of the business, the rent and Internet connection charges have been paid and that everything is on course.

  This is not easy, running a Kenyan business from the UK, especially when communications are sporadic. The electricity supply is not very reliable in Kisii. Nor is the Internet connection. The only sure way to communicate is by SMS. UK to Kenya is quite cheap, but the Kenya to UK is not, especially when the sender is earning only a couple of dollars a day.

  But I must not let this little venture take over my life. I have other things to do, like planning my "show shamba", that will promote the use of easy-to-use, alternative energy, easy-to-build water purification, etc. While I am at it, I want to try growing some different vegetables on the plot, some to feed the kids, others to see if we can make a bit of money.

  Why do I sometimes feel that I am taking on too much? Oh yes, because I am here, not there.

• Offer Accepted ...

  Posted: May 27, 2008, 12:35 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Soon after my last post, I found an email, sent by my man in Kisii. I almost dared not read it.

  After the usual profuse greeting to me and mine, he eventually got around to telling me that my offer had been accepted. As long as I could get the money out to Kisii before the end of the month, the business was mine.

  He apologised for the delay in letting me know, but the power had been cut, which got me wondering why I was starting up a reasonably high-tech business in an area where electricity is still a luxury, and therefore not always available.

  Oh well, at least the competition has the same problem - yes, there are other cyber cafés in town. In fact the shop next door is a bigger, "better" cyber café. But mine still has its fair share of clients.

  And I reckon, at very little cost (and a UK mind-set), we could make ours as attractive as next door. Not that we need to increase our client base by much. We only have 10 PCs and most are occupied for a good part of the day.

  All I need to do now is save up my air fare (and some spending money) and get out there!

• Another Step Towards Kenya

  Posted: May 26, 2008, 1:38 pm by Dad Mzungu

  At 4,500 miles, it would take a while to walk to Kenya. So I have embarked upon another means of getting there and surviving financially when I get there.
  My man in Kisii works part-time as the IT engineer for a cyber café in the town. It is not the biggest, or the smartest, or the most used, but it plods along, making a profit.

  The owner is having to move to the City due to his work and needed a quick sale. My man heard about this and immediately contacted me.

  I started hunting around, collecting pennies from down the back of the sofa, the car centre console, etc. but couldn't quite make the asking price. So I had to go to plan 2 and beg.

  The result was that yesterday, I could tell my man in Kisii to make an offer.

  I am now sitting here in a very wet UK (the rain is chucking it down with high winds as I type) waiting to be told whether my offer has been accepted.

  This is a big step. I would trust my man in Kisii with my life, so having him run a business in my absence isn't an issue.

  It is just the act of investing abroad. I have done it before and ended up with a very bloody nose. It is also a step towards setting up my nest in Kenya. I know that once I am settled, there will be no return because of the artificial currrency exchange rate.

  The business is small. But it has a lot of potential to grow with a bit of imagination and hard work, and my man in Kisii is not afraid of hard work - he is a Kenyan after all!

• Need to lose a few pounds? Go to Kenya!

  Posted: May 23, 2008, 12:31 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Inspired by Mzungu Chick's latest blog, I thought I would share my weight loss programme with you.

  To start, you need to have the car you use in Kenya to be torched during a riot, ensuring that there is no money in the kitty to replace it (this latter is extremely easy!).

  Then visit upcountry - I chose Kisii - and live like a Kenyan on the breadline. This involves eating the staple food, sukuma wiki and ugali, and because you can afford it, fresh fruit by the kilo, every day for a month.

  To get to town, about 1 mile away, you walk - uphill, bearing in mind that Kisii is at an elevation of 5,577 ft to start with. Do not take the matatu until you have walked at least ½ mile and have broken out in an uncontrolable sweat - the wheazing whilst breathing is optional.

  Do all this with a 35litre back pack containing an old (and heavy) laptop, digital camera and all the other bits and pieces necessary to play the part of a tourist.

  Once in town, bob from cyber cafe to cyber cafe until you find a queue that does not comprise half the population of the town. This is usually on the 3rd or 4th floor of a mall with no lift.

  Upon leaving the cyber cafe, walk around town with a young person who is used to the thin atmosphere and can walk at 6 mph.

  Walk home, stopping at the local supermarket. Buy sweets for 36 kids. Arrive home. Collapse.

  Repeat every weekday.

  On Saturdays, spend time teaching kids to play volleyball, skipping, skittles, hula hoop, tennis, etc., all this accompanied by a four-year-old who considers that he has been put on this Earth only to sit on your shoulders - permanently (at this point, the rucksack can be dispensed with).

  Sundays - rest, comprising amusing previously mentioned four-year-old, making paper aeroplanes, skittles, playing football (you are the only person allowed to even touch the new ball you bought him!)!

  I can guarantee that you will lose weight - a lot of weight!

• Hello ... Is Anybody Out There?

  Posted: May 18, 2008, 11:41 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Actually, yes, there was.
  
  My friend Vincent, in Kisii, and I managed an audio link-up this morning, through Skype (other VoIP services are available). We even managed to get a one-way UK to Kenya video link up for a few minutes, until the bandwidth froze it.
  
  He was in the local cyber café, so we weren't epecting miracles, especially from Kisii. The Intnernet link is not too fast.
  
  Abigael, Vincent's wife was also at the Cyber Café, so we all had a quick chat.
  
  It is funny - Vincent and I frequently "talk" using typed Chat and we always have something to say. However, with a real-time, free audio link. we were stuck for words. Mind you, we had been on-line to each other via text for an hour before we decided to go "live".
  
  Next week, we are going to try 2-way video. He is going to bring Jojo and Benta to the cyber café so they can see me on the video, as Jojo in particular has been moaning a lot that I haven't returned to Kenya to see him - like it is just round the corner. Still, he is only 4 years old.

• What's It For?

  Posted: May 16, 2008, 4:42 pm by Dad Mzungu

  As I sit here, writing my blog entry, I wonder "Why?"

  Why am I doing this? Is anyone actually reading this?

  Of course, no blogger knows whether their work is being read unless they get comments from the readers. I have had a couple, but they are few and far between.

  So, am I wasting my time writing this?

  Then another question pops up. Does it really matter? Why did I start writing a blog? Why does anyone?

  In my case, it was to put down "on paper" my frustrations and fears over Kenya and my desire to return to the country of my choice. In which case, does it matter whether any one else reads it?

  No. I think I am writing this to let off steam, to put my thoughts down wher I can see them and maybe make a decision, or at least see a problem more clearly.

  So then, why not a diary, written in Word or similar? Or even, a real diary, you know, pen into exercise book?

  OK, the last comment is ridiculous. I am left-handed and get cramp in my poor old hand after writing two lines. Then it becomes unreadable, not tht it would be a problem as no one would read it anyway.

  Is there a little vanity in bloggers? Do they hope that someone will read their blog and maybe even award one of those little badges that so many seem to be passing around to one another? Maybe.

  Do I really care if no one reads my blog? Probably.

  Would I be happy if someone awarded me a "Good Blogger" badge? Definitely, but at the same time, seeing the quality of other bloggers, I would be surprised.

  Oh well ...

• Contact Lost

  Posted: May 16, 2008, 4:37 pm by Dad Mzungu

  It is a few days now since I have had any contact with antone in Kenya. This is unusual. I usually have contact with Vincent in Kisii at least three times a week. I usually get an email from Nairobi, and Mzungu Chick usually posts something in her blog.

  But, nothing!

  I know it has been raining hard in Nyanza Province, and that may have kept Vincent at home (he has to go to a cyber café to contact me). Then again, I heard a rumour that the cyber café that he works in is closing down - no more free Internet!

  So I really don't know what is going on in Kenya, at grass roots level, at the moment. Still, no news is good news - isn't it?

• Christian Aid

  Posted: May 13, 2008, 10:56 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Our Rector's wife came round this evening, collecting the Christian Aid envelopes. Unfortunately, our dog had eaten ours, and as she rummaged around in her bag for another one, I told her that I was disillusioned with them.

  During the PEV (Post Election Violence) in Kenya, my organisation had the partial responsibility for nearly 3,000 displaced people who had fled the violence. I could do little from here (the UK) but contacted the Red Cross, Oxfam, Christain Aid, etc. to notify them of the plight of these people and to ask for help. I got a couple of replies, but no aid for these people.

  The reason, we guess, was that our town is off the main Mombasa-Nairobi-Kisumu-Eldoret route, and were therefore a bit more difficult to get to.

  But surely this is not the point.

  Oh, what the heck, I've already blogged about this and I don't want to go through it again.

  In the end, I put my loose change in the envelope. I am Christian, after all. And they are only human.

• Fallen off the Radar

  Posted: May 13, 2008, 9:44 pm by Dad Mzungu

  On the face of it, it should be a good sign, Kenya not being in the news for a while. Due to the Burmese crisis, the China earthquake, the Zimbabwe (non?) election, there is little if anything relating to Kenya on any of the International news websites.

  But thre is a lot going on in Kenya. Food is short and prices are rocketing. Fertiliser and seed prices are also up. The Government is forcing people presently in IDP camps back to their homes, regardless of the risk of violence erupting and dissent bolstering the Mungiki.

  The new coalition government is knee-jerking and any measures taken about just about anything seems to be short-sighted.

  Is Kenya ever going to get back to the relative stability it enjoyed before the Presidential election debacle?

• Grass

  Posted: May 10, 2008, 11:30 pm by Dad Mzungu

  As I was mindlessly wandering up and down the lawn, being pulled along by the mower, I was dreaming of kenya - Kisii to be geographically precise.

  Here I am, mowing a lawn that stretches to about ¼acre. What a waste of time and space. In Kenya, this land would be put to good use, growing crops to feed the family.

  My friend in Kisii could not believe we have so much non-productive land.

  He has a strip of grass running along the house, but the rest of his land, as well as a plot he bought, was all freshly tilled ready for planting.

  So here I was, mowing this lawn, wondering how much food I could grow if I turned the land over to vegetables.

  What makes this worse, is that attached to the property, we have a paddock of about 1 acre. Now that, in Kenya would almost be a self-sufficient farm and my paddock is just brambles, weeds and ragwort!

• Kenyan Weather

  Posted: May 10, 2008, 1:37 pm by Dad Mzungu

  At last! Summer, or as least, Spring, has hit the British Isles, well, my bit of it in Hampshire, anyway.

  Last week, everyone was complianing because it was so cold. Now they are saying that it is too warm to sleep well!

  Of course, this is a very British trait. If we didn't have weather, the Brits wouldn't exist.

  Personally, I have been waiting for this moment. I arrived back from Kenya and two days later, it snowed. Since, it has rained hard, it has blown and it has been miserable.

  So, 24ºC during the day is pleasant, 14ºC at night is comfortable.

  But now, all I think about is the weather in Kenya, always warm, usually sunny, and never cold at night, in the places I have stayed.

  OK, on the coast it was just too hot for me, day and night, and there are problems with Kisii and Nairobi, too. Not with the heat, but the altitude.

  I didn't realise that both towns are over 5,000ft up; I had wondered why I was having difficulties walking uphill into town. I had experienced this in Johannesburg a few years ago, but then I expected it.

• Kenyan Sayings and Proverbs

  Posted: May 9, 2008, 2:19 am by Dad Mzungu

  I love reading traditional sayings and proverbs from around Africa. Here are a few I tripped over in Swahili

  Akiba haiozi - Savings never go bad

  Asiyekujua hakuthamini - He/she who doesn't know you, doesn't value you

  Atakae hachoki - A person in need never gets tired

  Fadhila za punda ni mateke - A donkey expresses gratitude by giving a kick

  Mtenda wema kijuki, mwishowe hutiwa moto - A bee gets smoked in return for the favour of making honey

  Haba na haba, hujaza kibaba - Little and little, fills the measure

  Kuelekeza si kufuma - To aim is not to hit

  Mambo mazuri hayataki haraka - Good things should not be hastened

  Mtoto umleavyo ndivyo akuavyo - The way you raise a child is what he/she will grow to be

  Mtumai cha ndugu hufa masikini - A person who relies on his/her relative's property, dies poor

  Mwanamke ni chachu ya maendeleo - A woman is an important part of development

  Naishi niwezavyo siishi mtakavyo - I live as I can afford not as you wish

  Nazi mbovu harabu ya nzima - A bad coconut renders good ones bad

  Siku ya kufa nyani miti yote huteleza - The day a monkey is destined to die, all trees get slippery

  Ukali wa jicho washinda wembe - An eye is sharper than a razor

  Zawadi ni tunda la moyo - A gift is a fruit from the heart

  Kutoa ni moyo usambe ni utajiri - Giving is from the heart not from the wealth

• My brain hurts ...

  Posted: May 7, 2008, 7:04 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Not five minutes ago, I had the outline of my latest blog in my mind. In the time it took to log on, I had forgotten the whole thing!

  I was reading the blog from Mzungu Chick and I am sure that this brought on the inspiration, but ...

  I was, at the same time on Skype with my friend in Kisii. Maybe that's where the idea came from.

  Oh well [sigh]! Maybe it will come back if I read her blog again.

  Of course, that is the problem. I am a mere bloke and I am trying to multi-task [note to self: one thing at the time, you silly old codger].

  So let's go back. What was I doing? "talking" to my friend in Kisii, reading Mzungu Chick's blog and dreaming of my life in Kenya, when I eventually get to settling there.

  Ah yes! That's it! The postal service.

  "Huh?" I hear my [ficticious?] reader say. You will have to wait until I get around to writing my proper blog - which, becuase I had started it before this one, is below!!

• How Lucky We Are ...

  Posted: May 7, 2008, 7:01 pm by Dad Mzungu

  We just don't realise, do we? We take so much for granted.

  You are thirsty? Have a drink of water ... from the tap or a beer from the fridge.

  Cold? Switch the electric fire or central heating on.

  Need to go somewhere? Jump in the car, or at worst, on a bus, running to a regular timetable.

  So what is this rant leading to?

  Stuck as I am in the UK, with many friends and business associates in Kenya, any communication is usually over the internet, email, Skype, MSN Messenger, etc. This of course relies on the power not being cut and the telphone lines working.

  But, from time to time, I have to send things by post. Remeber the post? Writing the address on an envelope, sticking a stamp on it and putting it in a letter box?

  Then, if it is going abroad, filling in a Customs label, trying to make the contents as uninteresting as possible, so that it does not atract Import Duty, and more importantly, catch the eye of some postal worker who is looking for something to acquire.

  Well, in this last, I seem to be sadly lacking.

  I have recently sent a parcel containing some small computer accessories to a friend in Kenya. It didn't arrive.

  I have sent some official forms to Nairobi and they haven't arrived either.

  It just doesn't happen over here. If we post something, it arrives.

  This is assuming that the mail gets lost over there, rather than over here, of course. But I think this is a safe assumption.
  
  
  
  
  

• Living Conditions

  Posted: May 1, 2008, 1:23 pm by Dad Mzungu

  I have been meaning to write this for a long time, but life has grabbed me by the throat and kept me in the real world - that is the world of having to work, rather than writing blogs.

  While I was in Kenya in March, I lived with Kenyans, ordinary Kenyans, in their homes.

  So, where to start? I suppose, with my living conditions in the South of England.

  I live in a large bungalow in a small village. Our property backs onto the lands of an ancestral home, so it is calm.

  The bungalow has the usual central heating, lighting, telephone line, fitted kitchen, bathroom, shower room, three bedrooms and two living rooms, two TVs - it is a "normal", middle class abode. I have a car, not new, but reliable. I have two computers and a laptop, all permanently connected to broadband.

  -oOo-
  

  My first stop in Kenya was Kisii, where I stayed for 10 days with friends, Vincent and Abigael. They live in a rented two-bedroomed bungalow comprising a sitting room, kitchen, wet room and the two bedrooms.

  There is no electricity or running water and the toilet is a deep-pit latrine 20 or 30 yards from the house.

  Most of the garden is for growing food and Vincent has also bought a second plot adjacent, to grow more.

  I felt rather guilty as, being a guest, I had been given the "good" bedroom. I shared it with one of the kids, Josephat. Everyone else slept in the other bedroom. This suited Jojo, as he never strayed more than about 3 feet from me the whole time I was there. He has decided that I am his Baba Mzungu (white Dad).

  Lighting is by kerosene lamp in the main room and by torch or candle anywhere else.
  The kitchen is a room with a couple of low work surfaces, no running water and no cooker. Cooking is over kerosene or charcoal.

  Water is brought up from the river every day by a water carrier and has to be boiled.

  Internet connection is out of the question, so collecting emails, etc., involves a trip into town to visit one of the many cyber cafés.

  The wet room is just a room with a small hole in the wall to let out water. Having a wash involves heating water in the kitchen and carrying it into the wet room in a bowl.

  Despite being a "soft" European, I survived. No - more than that. I actually enjoyed my stay there. I happily put up with what I saw as deprivation. OK, going to the loo during a downpour was a bit of a pain, but hey! This is Kenya!
  

  -oOo-
  

  The second leg of my stay was far more "civilised". I had arranged to use an apartment in the village on the coast, sharing it with my girlfriend and her two children.

  This apartment comprises a massive living room with dining area, a kitchen with a combi cooker (two gas rings, two electric), although the electric part is not connected, and a fridge/freezer, a bathroom with a bath with shower, "real" toilet, basin and running water (only cold). The bedroom has a king-size and large single bed.

  There is electricity, although only one power point in each room. There is also a TV in the living room. The whole is finished off with a large, east-facing balcony.

  Few of the windows are glazed. It is not necessary, the temperature never falls below 20C. They are all covered with mosquito-proof netting.

  This leg of my stay in Kenya was luxury - a real shower, a real toilet, a real kitchen. And then, of course, I was with my girlfriend!
  

  -oOo-
  

  The third leg was in a suburb of Nairobi. My friend there has a four-bedroom terraced house with a front and back yard. It is in a gated estate with security guard.

  The house comprises two floors. Upstairs, there are two bedrooms and a bathroom, the ground floor has the living room, kitchen, wet room, a guest bedroom and with access from the front yard there is the fourth bedroom. Normally this might have been the domestic quarters, or workroom.

  The kitchen is basic, but does have electricity and running water, although it is not advisable to drink it.

  The wet room has an "Asian" toilet which flushes, a basin and a shower head, again giving only cold water.

  Cooking is over kerosene or charcoal, but every room has electric light, as long as the supply is working!

  This was very comfortable, and I could happily live in this house, but it was not as "comfortable" as the apartment on the coast. Nor would I particularly want to live close to Nairobi.

  Given the choice of the three places I know, I would settle in Kisii - the coast is just too hot.

  This stay in Kenya, particularly Kisii, reminded me of just how lucky I am, living where I do.

  But even the house in Kisii would be considered luxury to many Kenyans, who live in small traditional mud huts under thatch, not through choice, but because they can afford nothing better.

• Is No News Good News?

  Posted: May 1, 2008, 1:06 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Through the wonderful medium of Skype, I usually have some contact with Vincent in Kisii (he is the director of the children's home), but I haven't heard anything from him for since about Sunday - it now being Thursday. The last time this happened, he had been down with malaria.
  
  I believe the kids are still off school, so of course, there is more to do at home (Jojo and Benta are living with Vincent and Abigael), and also the other kids on the register will be floating around.
  
  But, Vincent is my "link" with Kenya. Without it I go cold turkey. I like to get news of what is happening, especially as Kisii is so different to Nairobi. It is a provincial town with its own economy.
  
  I also get news of the children, and sometime, even some funny stories, or photos.
  
  So, without my almost daily contact, I start to worry. Is everyone OK? What is the food situation? Is one of the kids ill or injured? Or maybe Vincent or Abigael?
  
  I know that even the smallest of our children is far more robust than the average European. They don't have our soft lives. Kids of 9 or 10 can wield a machete to cut wood without cutting both their legs off. But it is worrying to see them using such a dangerous tool.
  
  Oh well, I dare say that everything is fine, Vincent is either tied up with work, or the kids, or both and he will get into town to the cyber-café when he can.
  
  In the meantime, I will sit here and worry.

• Where is Zimbabwe going?

  Posted: May 1, 2008, 12:39 pm by Dad Mzungu

  It has been announced, albeit unofficially, that Morgan Tsvangirai has beaten Uncle Bob in the Presidential election. The country is gearing up for a run-off election between the two.
  
  In the meantime, the army and "war veterans" are carrying out a campaign of terror against the supporters of the MDC.
  
  So, let's just assume that after the run-off, Morgan wins outright. Then what?
  
  The army seems to be loyal to Uncle Bob; the war veterans certainly are. So what will the new MDC Government do? How will they bring Zimbabwe back into some sense of normality? Will Tsvangirai and his new government be allowed to rule, or will there be a coup?
  
  Winning an election in a country where violence and repression has been the order of the day for so long, may not count for much.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes