A Mzungu who loves Kenya

• Who will do What about Which, to Whom?

  Posted: August 29, 2008, 4:38 pm by Dad Mzungu

  An interesting report has been issued from the Kenya National Commission on Human Rights regarding who was responsible for the post election violence, naming names.

  Names like Uhuru Kenyatta from President Mwai Kibaki’s Party of National Unity, Sally Kosgei, Henry Kosgey, William Ruto, Najib Balala and the late Kipkalya Kones from Prime Minister Raila Odinga’s Orange Democratic Movement (to mention but a few) are mentioned as "alleged perpetrators".

  I am not going into the rights and wrongs of the actions of these people or the reasons for the PEV. Readers who are au fait with the post-election problems in Kenya can draw their own conclusions.

  What interests me is that the state-funded KNCHR has produced this large report (159 pages, I believe) about the problems as a result of the Kenyan elections in December, alleging that MPs and other people in high places were involved. But, what is going to do be done with it?

  Will evidence be collected to prove these allegations? And if so, will those who people in high places be prosecuted? Will they be at least be relieved of their posts?

  I will watch with interest.

• Kibaki -v- Githongo. Round II

  Posted: August 28, 2008, 9:20 pm by Dad Mzungu

  OK, now maybe I can see why Kibaki snubbed Githongo. I thought it was because the whistle-blower was touching base a bit too close to home.

  But I have read another blog criticising Githongo for washing Kenya's dirty linen in public, that is the BBC et al.

  That's fair enough, but the problem is that "we" expect African governmnets, including the Kenyans, to be corrupt. Nothing that Githongo said could have surprised anyone over here.

  But in a way, I envy Kenyans. Some of your legislators are corrupt. You are not surprised. You assume that, even if there is no proof, they are crooked.

  We, in the "West", generally expect our politicians to be honest and aren't we disappointed when some sleaze or graft comes to light. We are outraged.

  I am not sure which I would prefer. But I would still choose to live in Kenya rather than the UK, given the choice. At least you know where you stand in Kenya.

• Kibaki snubs Githongo

  Posted: August 28, 2008, 12:15 pm by Dad Mzungu

  I don't want to get bogged (or blogged) down in Kenyan politics, but I find it incredible that President Kibaki has refused to meet with Githongo, the whistle-blower on one of the major graft cases during Kibaki's first term.

  If I were a Kenyan, I would be very suspicious. What has Kibaki got to hide? Why will he not meet that man he appointed to counter corruption in high places?
  

• My Take on Kenya

  Posted: August 14, 2008, 1:09 am by Dad Mzungu

  There is no doubt. I love Kenya.

  There are some places I like more than others, but that must be true of just about any country in the world - and of course, I don't know the whole country, only little bits of it: the Nairobi area, especially the business district and the eastern suburbs, Kisii and Malindi.

  That's quite a spread, though, Coastal, to over 5,500ft, village to major town to rural town.

  I find the Malindi area too hot and too humid. I don't really like it.

  Nairobi and its suburbs are fascinating. But I am a country boy and I have an inbuilt dislike of big cities. The public transport system has deteriorated since I have been going to Nairobi. It used to be reasonably easy to get from my base in the east suburbs to the office in the business district on top of the hill. Now it is virtually impossible.

  Kisii is what I would expect a large African town to be. Chaotic, dusty (when it is not raining) noisy, busy. I like Kisii.

  And then there are the people. Naturally. top of the list is my love interest, beautiful, intelligent, well educated, living on the coast.

  There is the man in Nairobi that started my Kenyan adventure. He is very very friendly, plausible and pleasant, but is always finding ways of borrowing money to "invest". I don't suppose I will ever see it again. He is always trying to impress, introducing me to Daktari This and Hon. That. His promises are big but never forthcoming.

  And then there is the couple I met in Kisii, young, enthusiastic, well educated, friendly, caring, honest.

  I like Kisii, and I have good friends there.

  So I have set up business there, with a view to ecventually settling down near the town.

  Why Aren't I there already? That's personal, but I have good reason to remain at my base in the UK - most of the time. I will travel to Kenya whenever I can. The only restraint is the money for the air fare. I have managed a couple of visits within the last year, and I am about due to go out there again, as soon as I have found the money for the ticket.

  But one day, I will arrive and never leave.

• Bedroom Menagerie

  Posted: August 11, 2008, 2:45 am by Dad Mzungu

  I am in bed, under the mosquito net, sleeping like a babe, when I wake up. Why? I hear a scurrying noise, that's why. I fumble around for my torch (there is no electricity in the house) and switch it on. I sweep the walls and there they are, the biggest bl00dy cockroaches I have ever seen in my life - three of them. They are big, about 4 cm long, mid brown, but slow-moving.
  

  They scurry away from the beam of my torch and I draw a circle around them. They are confused now. They can't escape the light. I find that I can herd them with the torchlight.

  Then I hear a crunch. I scour the walls with my light. In the corner, there is a small, pale lizard. Sticking out of its mouth there is the back end of another cockroach. It's legs are still wriggling slowly.

  The lizard doesn't move. It just sits (or stands) there with its prize in its mouth. It is almost too small to each its catch, let alone catch the others with its meal still in its mouth.

  The other cockroaches are trying to escape the hunter, but to do so, they have to go into the light of my torch, and they don't like that!

  But soon (not soon enough for the cockroaches), I grow weary of my "game". You can only herd cockroaches with a torch for so long before it becomes tiresome.
  

  I switch off the torch, and hear the free cockroaches marching across the wall, away from their predator.

  A short while later, I switch my torch on and sweep the walls again. The menagerie has disappeared. I can hear no more crunching, or the scampering of tiny feet on the plaster.
  

• Recurring Dream ...

  Posted: August 4, 2008, 1:37 pm by Dad Mzungu

  Many years ago, I served in the British Police Force and my first posting was to a village on the River Thames.

  It was pretty cushy as postings go and a relatively quiet, pleasant life. During the Summer, the village was a popular tourist spot, people took boats out onto the river, picnicked on the banks, and all was well with the world.

  One day, I was called to the car park of a riverside pub. A boat was moored at the pub, and the parents told me that they had lost their three-year-old boy. Mother had gone into the village to buy provisions, taking the baby and father had stayed with the boat, fishing. Each parent thought the boy was with the other. When mother came back, they both thought the boy had wandered off.

  I set up a search party, calling in units from other areas. It occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, the boy had fallen into the water, but the Father insisted that he would have heard if he had.

  Eventually, we called in the Underwater Search Team and the boy was found, in four feet of water, under the boat.

  He was blond, fresh-faced and dressed in dark blue. Although this happened over thirty years ago, I can remember it as if it was last week.

  The usual procedure was carried out; he was pronounced dead at the scene. Normally, we would have called out an undertaker, but as he was so small, I put him into the back of the Police car and took him to the Police Station, where he was formally identified by the father.

  I then had to take him to the mortuary at our nearest town, retrieve his belongings and clothing, and slip him into a fridge. He was so tiny.

  The following morning, I attended the post mortem and in the afternoon, the inquest was held.

  Within 24 hours, the whole episode was over. The parents and their baby went home to grieve, and that was that.

  Until a few months later, when I saw on the TV the story of a boy who had fallen into a lake in the USA and after a considerable time was rescued and resuscitated.

  Then the questions started. What if I had found the boy, maybe by poking around with the boat hook and tried to resuscitate him. Would he be alive now? Did I fail this little kid? Could I have done more?

  I will never know.

  But these questions frequently come back to me, even after 34 years, usually in the middle of the night.

  And I feel guilty.

• Raila, you are wrecking my business!

  Posted: August 3, 2008, 8:59 pm by Dad Mzungu

  I don't suppose the Right Honourable Prime Minister of the Republic of Kenya has done it on purpose, but he managed to stop our clients visiting our establishment.

  He turned up and held a rally in the town, and of course, everyone went to see him. This is, after all, one of his strongholds.

  But, while the town went to see their hero at the stadium, they were not visiting our emporium to spend their money.

  Shame!

  
  

• Bribery in the UK Government? Surely not!

  Posted: August 2, 2008, 1:57 pm by Dad Mzungu

  I have just heard over the radio that the Secretary of State for Justice, Rt. Hon. Jack Straw, is calling for a measure to bribe the British public.

  Apparently, the latest ploy of our esteemed socialist government is to bribe the electorate at the next general election.

  According to Straw, the idea is that if you turn out to vote, you will be entered in a draw to win a plasma television, presumably regardless of which party you vote for - at least I hope this is the case!

  I know that the turn-out at elections is dropping, probably due to the total apathy felt towards our leaders, but this is a pathetic attempt to get us into the polling stations.

  Surely, it would be more plausible to have a manifesto that fires the imagination of the public - love it or hate it - you would feel obliged to vote for or against it.

  But then, of course, manifestos are usually conveniently forgotten. What a party promises to do in order to get voted into power, has little bearing on what they actually do when they win.

  Admittedly, the British Labour Party has hit a popularity low since Tiny Blur abandoned the Premiership (and the country) to Gordon Dour. The Scots want to break away from the rest of the UK (and who can blame them?), the Government cannot hold on to its safe seats in a by election, and the opposition parties are winning other by elections with ever increasing majorities.

  So, I suppose Straw is hoping that if, at the next election, the Labour Party can get their apathetic voters to the polling stations, they will manage to hold onto power.

  I doubt it. Listening to interviews with life-long Labour supporters after the Glasgow East by election, Labour have a snowball's hope in Hell's chance of winning - unless they bribe the electorate - and I don't mean with a plasma TV.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes