Open Mic

• Sexual Revolution without Sex Education-Development

  Posted: June 6, 2008, 8:37 pm by willpress

  So how did the average Kenyan through time acquire his/her notions of sex and sexuality to what can be said to be the Kenyan Sexcylopaedia?
  
  Theres nothing much to say about the traditional era. Custom was life. It dictated everything including menstural cycles. Sex had a subsidiary utility in general and wealth accumulation in terms of livestock and children was the true orgasm magnet. Gender roles placed the man at the pedestal thus, if a couple wasnt getting the baby train running, the problem was probably with Her. Only the "husband" (even in the woman-woman marriages) could ponder about "his" sexuality and yes, the wifes potential was untapped. Not that anyone was complainin. At least at initiation time, boys and girls received "the secrets of the community" and trust me, these sessions were very explicit.
  
  Then here comes Johnny English with the pleasures of colonialism. O tempora O mores! Kumbe the woman had a BRAIN and could think with it? Yay! Western influence gave way to a more relaxed clasp on the womans freedom . . . These baby making machines had to be repackaged to fit into the new game. He now had to spare a few coins or evade poll tax to get her a nyc pleated skirt or them khakis to transform Him to the village stud.
  Just like sliced bread,afropuffs, bellbottoms and pumps, the 70s were abuzz with La Revolution Sexuelle.Skirts were to be kept veery short. Dudes also started imitating the bravadoism of the black heros in flicks like Shaftand Supafly. Through the 80s the rigid walls surrounding sexual expression were coming under pressure. Books such as David Mailu's 'Man and Woman' ,for example, which is a tale about a woman "possesed by the spirits of sex" sold like hot cakes to school libraries.
  
  
  Most of these changes however affected the upper class minority and urbanites. This cartegory was sociologically secluded (except during Christmas when urbanites went to shagz) and to this extent couldnt sufficiently influence the lower class, where customary notions still ruled. A chiquitta who as much as looked at a man risked several ordeals including a proper spankin depending on how shady the dude looked. Teenagers baffled at irregularities in ther changing bodies also kept mum to avoid retribution etc. etc.
  
  
  The wall finally cracked and broke through the mid 80s to the early 90s. . . Tupac and BIG didnt make it any better and obsceneties were added to the flavour of youthful life. Paternalism was dumped for individualism. All about the Me and I . . . They didnt go to Beijing for nothing!
  
  Soon, we were caught up in a 'turgid cell' moment where we felt the need to add more features to our sexual atlas but still haunted by the proud belief that our forefathers were the best navigators thus undisputable. This was compounded by the majority of the population being in the 18-40yr bracket (yes a lone mzee standing in a bus full of youths who also have a right to sit.Vijana wa siku hizi, tho!).
  
  1996 paved way for liberization of the media.KBC, in an effort to stay relevant, shoved the Bold and the Beautiful through our pupils. By episode 50, we were at home with the idea of a father katiain his sons ex. FM radio presenters became increasingly raunchy, especially the late night ones, teeterin as few paces away from soft porn as was legal. .fun times those.
  
  Fast-foward to present day. Hmmm. . .lemme say its become a free for all Tower of Babel madness. Naked is a possible dressing code. Boys can put cornrows and apparently get a male girlfriend and still get mad love from the parents. Uganda has half a milion recognized homosexuals na what UG can do, Kenya can do much better (exception being the Elgon Cup). Jacob Zuma, SAs potential next president, can tell a packed courtroom that a shower after sex is sufficient to ward off HIV and he still gets standing ovations. Though we take pride in our sexual liberty, the ghost of the past still haunt us. Discussing it is percieved as unrespectable. Even in internet chatrooms and discussion boards where we have the luxury of anonymity, these things are still hard to talk about with a straight face.

• Sexual Revolution without Sex Education-A Paradox

  Posted: June 6, 2008, 8:19 pm by willpress

  Inspired by a great discussion on a thread, something thats very hard to achieve, especially as regards this subject. Much thanks to Sanaa-, TypeR, Alja, sdolphin and all I may have forgotten. Credit where due. As I said before, this season I will prefer to deal with more solid issues that go beyond my d*ck.Note that am typing each word without batting a single eyelid. . .
  
  SCENARIO 1
  Jana, thanks to the free Safkom calls, a pal of mine (name witheld to protect ego) dedicates a good 10mins to lament that he has just discoverd that virgins cry (tears et al) after the deflowering act ; so he figures hes never been with one. WHAAAAT? I mean. . . Where the hell did that come from? My guy, women cry ALL the time and that has zero to do with picking fresh roses from the bush.Going by that trend, does that mean that all mamas who cry post-coitus are still virgins? Swali nyeti! Am applying to a rehab due to the trauma I received from realising people still think lyk this.
  
  SCENARIO 2
  A 21yr old chiquitta of reasonable education ie. An A in all sciences plus English just comes up with a theory that when a pregnant woman gets heartburn, that means the umblical cord has gone beyond the womb and into the abdomen. Am sure several dudes out there are picturing her as mama to their kids in the next 5yrs. Wangejua tu!
  
  SCENARIO 3
  In Mauritania (99% muslim), a woman who falls pregnant after rape is not considered a rape victim because, according to the law, pregnancy only arises from conscensual sex. You can imagine the number of unreported rapes that could potentially be taking place. . .
  
  All these leaves quite a number of us thinking "Nah, impossible in this day and age!" but its happening. Are we caught between the past thats full of myths, beliefs and customs that are retrogressive to the current situation in society as regards sex and sexuality? Africa is unfortunately caught up in a complex paradox of how to deal with an increasingly sexually charged society given its rigid, taboo-based stance.
  
  This leads me to asking two very candid questions:
  
  1. Does the person you are having sex with/had sex with/plan to have sex with have enough knowledge on sex education?
  2. Does our personal views on sex shape the world in future? This goes especially to law makers and society leaders (religious, customary, leaders of cliques etc).
  
  
  
  Quite an unfortunate paradox huh? Maybe you are not seeing it as clearly as i am. Perhaps an analysis of sex, sexuality and sexology as a whole has suddenly evolved; the current "regimes" of sex education and how effective they are is necessary to make you as flabbergasted (yay, I used a big word!) as I am. . .

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes