Wilde Yearnings

• Honest Scrap! Me! Me!

  Posted: April 27, 2009, 3:10 pm by Wildeyearnings

  
  Thanks to Tamaku and Pater Nostra, I''ve been given the absolutely awesome honour of accepting the Honest Scrap Award.
  
  Apparently this award is given annually to the sexiest, most good-looking blogger. I accept it with humility and a sense of entitlement because after all...who else could have won it? ;) (Well the citation really reads “This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.” But we'll pretend they meant what I wrote)
  
  To accept the award I have to list 10 honest things about me. Here goes:
  
  

  10. I’ve learnt that kids tv or the Disney channel is so much more entertaining with alcohol inside you.
  
  9. The first time I had sex with a man I was so emotional I cried… for a whole hour. Poor guy thought I was high on drugs and I was so embarrassed I went along with it. ( Y’all can stop laughing now…move along…)
  
  8. I finally grew about 4 hairs on my chin when I was 23.
  
  7. I’m a slob- I trim my toe-nails in the lounge, I leave pizza cartons in the TV den and my dog sometimes sleeps on my bed ;but the interior of my car is disinfected regularly and cleaner than an operating theatre in a hospital. Priorities, priorities…
  
  6. My little sister is trying to grow dreadlocks and this effort provides me with unending comic relief each evening from work. I am easily amused.
  
  5. My weirdest sexual encounter was a guy who took me home, told me to dress up in a lycra jogging suit and dance to George Micheal’s ‘Wake me up before you go-go’…. and then sent me home high, dry and unfulfilled. But he apparently got off from my dancing….sigh…the things I do for the good of man.
  
  4. Last night I was chopping onions. So what do I decide to do when my eyes start watering? Wipe them with my hands! Einstein, that’s me.
  
  3. I find listing 10 things about me so hard! ( I know I’ m cheating a bit here…)
  
  2. I’m fascinated with body hair on men- arm hair, chest hair, facial stubble, back hair ( I know!), thigh hair, the v-trail leading down to the groin ( I need a moment over here)…but I cannot stand moustaches (on men or women). I’m the king of contradiction.
  
  1. I speak in a really weird accent- its half British public school accent, quarter Nairobi accent (interspersed liberally with haiya, woiye, manze and kwani) and quarter Coasterian accent (as a result of growing up along Kenya’s coastal region). But my Swahili is spoken like a true native- not the Nairobi watu-wa-bara type but the original pwani accent. I speak 5 languages and I’m fluent in three of these.

  
  
  All readers, consider yourselves awarded and feel free to list 10 awesomely honest things about you.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes